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The traffic stopped, mid-morning traffic caused by local highway construction, summer July days in New England can be the most pleasant, road construction is never pleasant, my car windows were open, Dr. Hook was playing on my radio, I had plenty of time to spare before I would be running late for my appointment, I casually glanced around at my surroundings, not much to see, there was a faint tree line visible over the tall highway sound barrier wall standing to my right, a small concrete protective barrier that stood about two feet off the ground a few feet in front of that barrier wall, the sky was blue, a few clouds scattered here and there, a slight breeze was in the air, two small birds flew down between the concrete barrier and the sound barrier wall, the birds looking for food I have no doubt, they were bopping up and down off the ground, I couldn’t see the ground below their feet, suddenly a bird with a massive wing span flew down from a nearby tree, he must have been watching them, he timed his attack perfectly, he knew they couldn’t get away, he was fast as he swooped down to the tiny birds level, a dingy brown bird with specs of white, a grey sharp beak protruded from his nose, the tiny birds tried to fly away, they seemed frighten by the sudden invasion, the giant bird pulled his talons up and knocked one of the tiny birds in midair to the ground as he tried to fly away, feathers flew in the air, the other bird successful in flying off, I never saw the first bird resurface again, the invading bird stood on the ground over where he knocked his prey out of the air, he was ugly, nothing like the cute tiny birds I had enjoyed watching, he relaxed his wings by his side, he turned his head from side to side, I could only see his head as it rose above the concrete barrier, my imagination told me what his talons were doing to the defenseless tiny bird on the ground, he looked proud of his accomplishment, traffic started moving, my stomach ached, I wanted to cry as I followed the flow of traffic, could I have saved him if I tooted my horn as I saw the big ugly bird swooping down? I would have helped them if I knew they were in danger. I assumed it was a Turkey Vulture, I see them as gross and capable of doing such a cruel thing, I often see those eating dead animals off the highway. The name Vulture alone sounds evil and dirty, like a monster of a bird.
What kind of animal preys on one of its own? I needed to know for sure if this was an ordinary occurrence. Was this nature’s order of the food chain? Did the tiny birds know to be fearful of this predator? I wondered how old these tiny birds actually were, were they babies? They were innocent, this one bird was now a victim, and could I have helped it get away? Could I have offered protective measures if I knew? The likely hood of ever having to witness such an attack again was pretty minute, but I felt obligated to learn more about what I had witnessed. I did some research and found out I was wrong. My assumption of it being a turkey vulture was wrong, my witnessing of them eating dead animals on the highway was correct, but they don’t hunt, they live off dead animals. It was not the profile in my head that I had created for them. It was a hawk that had made the attack on that helpless bird, a hawk and a vulture don’t look alike but they live in trees, a lot around highways. I am not an ornithologist. I did not know the behaviors of the birds, therefore I couldn’t possibly expect myself to know who the perpetrator of these tiny birds were. That was not what I expected to find out.
This holds true with child sexual abusers also. Do you know what a child’s sexual predator looks like? I don’t and I was sexually abused by my best friend’s father at the age of thirteen, the sexual abuse continued for ten years and the control and manipulation continued for another thirty years. Would you recognize an abuser by a particular profile? That doesn’t work. What I do know is that the person that sexually abuses children tends to be people we know or are acquainted with. They probably appear more similar to us than different. It is very difficult to generalize whom they may be. However, their interests and behaviors can be very revealing. You need to separate the behavior from the person in order to be able to spot a child’s sexual predator. Trust your instinct. Ask the questions. Don’t walk away or keep a blind eye to what you witness. Step up and don’t make excuses for what you see. Learn the signs of sexual abuse. Give yourself a better understanding of their behaviors and use that to spot a child’s sexual abuser.
What kind of animal preys on one of its own? I needed to know for sure if this was an ordinary occurrence. Was this nature’s order of the food chain? Did the tiny birds know to be fearful of this predator? I wondered how old these tiny birds actually were, were they babies? They were innocent, this one bird was now a victim, and could I have helped it get away? Could I have offered protective measures if I knew? The likely hood of ever having to witness such an attack again was pretty minute, but I felt obligated to learn more about what I had witnessed. I did some research and found out I was wrong. My assumption of it being a turkey vulture was wrong, my witnessing of them eating dead animals on the highway was correct, but they don’t hunt, they live off dead animals. It was not the profile in my head that I had created for them. It was a hawk that had made the attack on that helpless bird, a hawk and a vulture don’t look alike but they live in trees, a lot around highways. I am not an ornithologist. I did not know the behaviors of the birds, therefore I couldn’t possibly expect myself to know who the perpetrator of these tiny birds were. That was not what I expected to find out.
This holds true with child sexual abusers also. Do you know what a child’s sexual predator looks like? I don’t and I was sexually abused by my best friend’s father at the age of thirteen, the sexual abuse continued for ten years and the control and manipulation continued for another thirty years. Would you recognize an abuser by a particular profile? That doesn’t work. What I do know is that the person that sexually abuses children tends to be people we know or are acquainted with. They probably appear more similar to us than different. It is very difficult to generalize whom they may be. However, their interests and behaviors can be very revealing. You need to separate the behavior from the person in order to be able to spot a child’s sexual predator. Trust your instinct. Ask the questions. Don’t walk away or keep a blind eye to what you witness. Step up and don’t make excuses for what you see. Learn the signs of sexual abuse. Give yourself a better understanding of their behaviors and use that to spot a child’s sexual abuser.